The Life and Times of S

Decisions, Decisions

So I finally made the decision or was forced to make the decision rather, to not move to a new section of work that I had originally signed up for. I was so stressed from having to think things through and coming up with an answer, that I couldn't even get myself to pay attention on the phone while I spoke to my Mommy in India. Now that's stressed out! I couldn't even bring myself to eat anything all day. And then of course, I got scolded at the end of the day for not eating anything all day. But then again, that's nothing new.

Anyway, I hate making decisions. Yeah I know I can't say that enough. This one wasn't a particularly easy one to make either since I really have no Plan B, as of this moment, to fall back on. But I've taken a few leaps of faith in my life before and some of them, if not all, have worked out in my favour. Hopefully this one will work out for the best too. You never know, though.

This happened yesterday afternoon at work. So I know this post should have come right after work yesterday itself. But I need alone time when I write my posts to this blog. Come to think of it, I've had a ton of that since yesterday. But somehow I was still so stressed out from making the above decision that I couldn't get my brain to put a coherent sentence together to post here. My apologies for the delay.

A good friend tells me that I have a hard time making decisions because I lack confidence. I agree. I don't like to admit it but something inside always holds me back. As I sit alone in my study, yet again, I wonder if that will ever change. I can't say I've tried hard enough. I wonder if that will ever change too.

Well, enough about decisions. I am bored and I think I will go watch a movie now, which I picked up from Blockbuster this afternoon. Took me a half hour to decide which one I wanted to see though. I think even I got annoyed with myself for that. But at least there's no decision to make now!

Sweet dreams.
S.

posted by S @ 9:45 PM