The Life and Times of S

So I am training for this new opportunity that may come up in the near future all this week at a location other than my regular office. When I walked into my designated office for this week this morning, I heard bangles clinking. Soflty. Sweetly. Just the way my Mom's bangles clink. Always.

And even though, I knew it wasn't her bangles that I had just heard and even though I knew full well in my heart that she wasn't around, the clinking comforted me. Just like her presence does.

It made me very, very sad.


On a not so separate note, I went to Mum and Dad's for dinner today. It has been the ritual for the past number of months that every Wednesday, I go to Mum and Dad's for dinner after my Body Jam class. So I was already not feeling very good when I got to Mom's as I haven't been to Body Jam in two weeks now and those who know me know how much I love that hour of my week. And as soon as I entered Mum's family room and saw them both relaxing on the couch, in one somewhat surprising mental blast of light, I realized that I can never in all my life be who I truly am with them.

And that hurts.

How does it feel to know the ones you truly love are half a world away? All the time?
And how does it feel to know that won't be changing any time soon? Or ever?


If I'm not there already, I think I may become cynical soon.

posted by S @ 8:05 PM