The Life and Times of S

The Games People Play

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I know its too many thoughts for one post. But I don't think I'll be able to hold on to all these thoughts long enough to put them down separately.



So I went to the Body Pump class on Thursday. Its an hour of weight training. This is the first time I've attempted it.

And seriously, I am having pain in muscles I didn't know I had.

I am going again on Monday. There is also a Body Jam classs at the same time at another location on Monday. I never thought I'd give up Body Jam for another class. I feel like I'm cheating on it.

Infidelity to one's passion is another thing I didn't know I had.







As I've said before, I don't know why I think what I think. I just do.







So yestereday was the biggest Indian festival. Very much comparable to Christmas. Except there's no tree and its only for Indians. Its called Diwali, the Festival of Lights. It celebrates Lord Ram's homecoming after fourteen years of exile in the forest. Always falls on a new moon in late fall. Celebrations begin after it gets dark. People decorate their houses with umpteen candles, exchange gifts, have feasts, always wear new clothes, worship 'Lakshmi', the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity and finally end the evening with lots and lots and lots of fireworks.

Diwali may be the biggest festival. But 'Holi' is my favourite festival. Its called the Festival of Colours. It celebrates the end of the mythical monster Holika. Always falls in early spring. People celebrate by dressing in white and throwing coloured powder and water balloons all over each other all day. The day ends around 3pm with a big feast. Its a day filled with fun and laughter. And by the end of the day, everyone looks like a child's colouring book gone wrong. Its too bad we don't get to celebrate this festival in Canada. Holi always falls in early April. Its usually too cold to be outside in a lawn. And its definitely very cold to get into a water balloon fight with friends and family.

Is a festival really a festival if you're not with the one(s) you really want to be with? Or is it just another day?







I didn't have a good day yesterday though, despite the festivities. While I was at work, I got emails from all my friends from work who are Indian. I got calls all day from my family in India wishing me a Happy Diwali. And everytime someone called, I could hear the laughter, the clinking of flatware from everyone eating dinner together and the fireworks in the background. It was the togetherness that I could hear in the background.

And it made me sad.
I really could have used a friend.
Alas.







So I was so sad from getting all the calls and texts I had been getting all morning yesterday from my family in India, that I couldn't contain my tears any longer. It was an unfortunate coincidence that my good friend from work, T., walked into my cubicle at precisely the same moment. We went for a walk. He asked me questions. And for the first time, I didn't avoid his questions.

Talking about it didn't ease my pain or anything. But it felt good to realize that him and I are better friends than I thought.

Very few people surprise me. Very few people's insight surprises me.
T. is one of them.







I gauge people with my instincts.
I don't judge. I am in no position to judge.







I try not to tell people what I think of them. I avoid people's questions most of the time. Do you know why? Because most people cannot handle the answers.

I don't tell anyone anything for many reasons. And that is one of them.

posted by S @ 7:27 AM