The Life and Times of S

How much human life is lost in waiting? Or ego?

posted by S @ 6:09 PM 0 comments

Don't wonder why people go crazy.

As I sit alone in my favourite corner once again, and the soft sring breeze touches my cheek, in the house that somehow feels empty already, I wonder. In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, I wonder what the hell it is, that makes us hold it together.

So don't wonder why people go crazy.

Wonder why they don't.

posted by S @ 6:01 PM 0 comments

Lets take a walk.

You and me.
Just you and me.

Lets a take a walk.
And not worry about the destination.

Lets just walk.
And let our footsteps decide which way to go.

Lets take a walk.
And talk, and laugh, all the way.
To wherever we're going.

Lets take a walk.
And look into the distance.
Together.

Lets take a walk.
Holding hands.
Till the end of time.

posted by S @ 6:00 PM 0 comments

Sometimes its there.
Sometimes it isn't.

Just like you.

posted by S @ 6:00 PM 0 comments

This used to be my playground.

This used to be pride and joy. This used to be the place I ran to. Whenever I was in need of a friend. Why did it have to end? And why do they always say....don't look back. Keep your head held high. Don't ask why. Because life is short."....?

posted by S @ 7:03 PM 0 comments

Three weeks

Or.... the beginning of the end.

posted by S @ 4:56 PM 0 comments

So someone at work told me today that the thing they like most about me is that I'm always good to share a laugh with, no matter where, no matter what time.

Made my day.

posted by S @ 9:20 PM 0 comments

Keep running...

Not because you want to cut corners. But because you want to be better.

Keep running.

Not because you want to be the best. But because you want to be your best.

And keep running.

Not because you have a goal to meet or beat. But because you love it.

posted by S @ 7:50 PM 0 comments

Strings

On my drive in to work this morning, as I was falling into a peaceful slumber, interrupted only by the occasional car horn in the morning rush hour or Sports Radio Team 1200, and I played with the thin red strings tied around my right wrist, I wondered.

About strings.
Heartstrings.

About how they are always unseen but always heartfelt.
About how they govern our lives and everything in it.
About how they have a mind of their own.


And about how they attach us to people we least expect to get attached to.

I fell asleep.
Still wondering.

posted by S @ 5:39 PM 0 comments

New York New York

So I got back from my weekend plus Monday trip from New York. It wasn't fun. I was sick. P. was very sick. And I didn't get to shop. And the speeding ticket I got on the long drive back was icing on the cake. And to make it worse, the ticket will go to Dad's address now since I was driving his car. Now he will think I'm irresponsible and he already doesn't have a very high opinion of me.

I blame Cortana (the GPS lady) for all this!

Anyway, I think the only positive outcome of the trip, for me at least, was the family in New York. Its actually Mom's side of the family. But the lady there, lovingly called Anita Auntie, is one of my favourite people. She reminds me of my Mommy in so many ways that everytime I talk to her, its like talking to my Mommy. Just as caring, just as generous, always smiling and the same long hair. Always centre parted. Always in a braid. No make-up. 100% genuine. Just like Mommy.

I almost cried when I said good bye to her yesterday.

And now I'm back to a mess of a house. As I sit here alone and try to relish my watermelon that I've been craving since Friday, I'm trying to figure out where to begin packing. Should I pack the kitchen first? Or the closets? Or my shoes? Or should I pack the fridge magnets? But then I wonder, no matter what I pack first, the memories will emotionally blackmail me regardless during the last few days in the house

I think I'll just sit here and enjoy my watermelon.
And once again, leave the decision until tomorrow.

posted by S @ 6:04 PM 0 comments

And again.

On a not so separate note, as I sit alone in my favourite corner while I listen to the rain outside and watch the cold rain softly touch the blades of grass in my backyard, I realize that this might be one of the last few times I get to sit in my favourite corner. And I realize how much I've come to love it.

I think about me and this corner. And all the moments I've spent in it. With it. Moments of peace. Moments of laughter. Moments of sadness. But most often, moments of quiet reflection. Its been an incredible journey. Sometimes long. Sometimes not long enough. But incredible all the same.

I'll miss this corner. And every moment that I spent in it.

And as I sit in my favourite corner one of the very last times and think about our journey together, I realize how sometimes, the greatest and longest journey is the distance between two people.

posted by S @ 8:14 PM 0 comments

Spring

Spring is my favourite season of the year. Not too cold. Not too hot. Just right. Plus I love the flowers everywhere. People say the tulips all over the city are the best part of spring.

I disagree.

Tulips are pretty. But the flowered trees are the ones that usually take my breath away. Especially the one big tree on the corner of Torrington, this street that I turn onto everyday on my way to work, that has little clusters of very small green leaves all over it. Through the sunshine that flows through its branches at that hour in the morning, they look like hundreds of little yellow flowers waking up. Yawning. Stretching. Smiling.

Enough to make me gasp, and smile, everytime I look at it.

posted by S @ 7:34 PM 0 comments

I am tired today. I've been tired all day actually. I just need some rest. But I know there is none coming. At least for another couple of months.

My house got sold on Friday.
And the closing date is approaching.
Fast.

So there will be tons of packing.
Very tiring.
And goodbyes.
Very saddening.

Anyway, on a separate note, because I was so tired, on my drive home from work, I pushed my seat back down and lay in the sunshine streaming through the window.

I looked through the sunroof. At the birds. Clouds and the sky.
And then I saw my reflection against the roof glass. But it looked like I was looking at a reflection of myself against the bright blue sky. Like the sky was suddenly a giant mirror. And flashes of my life were streaking across it.

My favourite song played on the radio.
The sun felt warm on my face.
I remember smiling. Faintly.
Right before I fell asleep.

posted by S @ 6:24 PM 0 comments

Hey look there's that feeling again.

That makes me feel like I'm sinking.
And like this will be the very last time.

posted by S @ 6:22 PM 0 comments

So my good friend, S., sent me the lyrics this afternoon to a song he thought I would like. And I did.

Its called 'You're Gonna Miss This...." by Adkins Trace. Its just about how time flies. So quickly, you don't realize you're actually enjoying it. And how once its gone, you realize how much you appreciated everything about that time. Puts my earlier post into perspective.

Anyway, I was watching Greys' Anatomy last night. Re-run. But still fun. And here are some end of the show thoughts. Something I identify with. Something that is worth watching the whole hour of the show.

Commitments

Commitments are complicated. Sometimes even the best, most motivated of us have trouble making them.

We may surprise ourselves with the commitnemnts we let slip. And we may surprise ourselves even more by the commitments we're willing to make. True commitement takes efftort and sacrifice.

Which is why sometimes we have to learn the hard way to choose our commitments very, very carefully.

posted by S @ 4:40 PM 0 comments