The Life and Times of S

Mango

So my Mommy is visiting. This is her first visit after seven years.

She brought me many presents. But my most favourite one, besides her company, is the mangoes that she brought. Close your eyes and think of the one thing you love to eat so much that you can give up food in its entirety just to have one bite of that one thing. THAT is how much I love these mangoes. They are called Safeda (SUH-FAY-THAH) Mangoes and northern India is the only place they're available. For only three weeks of the year. Thats it. Thats all. No ifs, ands, or buts.

I haven't eaten this mango in eight years. Ever since I've been here. And I didn't realize how much I had missed it until I took that first bite. Tears stung my eyes. And a lump carried itself to my throat in that instant, as I thought of how much of my life, my soul I had sacrificed to be here. To be with the one person that means more to me than my own life.

Yet, when I think about all the things and the people that I sacrificed, I can't help but wonder about how long I might last without it all. Without my soul. I'm young and strong. Now. But what about fifteen years from now? Will I still be able to battle my urge to go back, to all that and all those I love and don't want to be without? Or will I surrender and return. Sans the person for who I chose what I did. God only knows. I just wish for the strength to deal with it when the time comes.

For now, I'm just enjoying the five mangoes that my Mommy slid past customs. Just for me. I'm afraid my eyes are filling up with tears once again. I hope Mommy won't notice the tears. It'll break her heart.

posted by S @ 6:54 PM