Sex and the City....
....and a faded memory.
"This is how I deal with stuff.", she said
"But this is all about you. Where do I fit into this?", he asked.
"I gave you a key to my apartment, didn't I? What more do you want?", she yelled in frustration.
"Oh, you gave me a key to your apartment!!! So I can get in your front door. But how do I get into there?", he said pointing to her heart.
She lowered her eyes. He left.
Something from a show.
I was quiet. You left.
Something from the past.
When I like someone, when I care for someone, I tell them. Coz life is too short to live any other way.
What if people you care for don't care for you the same way, you ask?
Well, at least, I gave it all I've got. And thats all that matters.
It hurts to realize that only one person truly cares.
And it really hurts to realize that the fifty others who truly care are half a world away. Always.
As I look outside the window and watch the snow fall, I think.
About snowflakes. And Christmas.
I miss my house. And everything in it. The blades of grass in my backyard. The pictures on the fridge. My shoe closet. The carpet in the study. My favourite blanket. And the way it always sat in my favourite corner.
As I look outside the window and watch the snow fall, I think.
About home.
Things change. And in time we get used to it.
But in the mean time, it hurts like hell.
So a colleague of mine, who happens to be Indian and who moved to Canada in 2001, just like I did, came to see me at my office today.
She small-talked, which, as the few who know me know, I despise. I humoured her for a couple of minutes. She continued. Small talk, thankfully, turned into work talk pretty quickly. And then she made a joke. This joke that any other Indian would have found funny. Very funny.
But I only found it to be something typically Indian. And not funny at all.
I have always wondered if I made the right decision. But in that instant, I knew. I knew I was right. I knew.
That I didn't belong.
The Way We Were....
"Your girl is lovely, Hubble....", I said.
"I don't get it.", you say.
And you never did.
Seven
I always complained about how I had everything decided for me, ever since I was born. Probably why I hate making decisions and probably why I suck at making decisions.
But I got to make one decision in my life.
You are, by far, the best decision I ever made.
My world is a better place because of you.
And my world is a better place with you, and your smiles, in it.
I love you.
S.
