The Life and Times of S

Give me the reason.
But don't give me the choice.

Or I'll make the same mistake again.

posted by S @ 11:44 AM 0 comments

Have you ever had something so beautiful that everyone that sees it wants it?

Me neither.

posted by S @ 9:36 AM 0 comments

As I sit alone in my study and I close my eyes, once again, and listen to the music I so often play in my head, despite the crazy thoughts that ail me every time I close my eyes, I realize how the world, my world, is a better place with all the people and all their problems in it.

On a separate note....

Remember when I was wondering if one can ever really forgive and forget? If you need a reminder, go here.

Forgive and forget, they say. Its good advice. But its not very practical.

When someone hurts us we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Old scores are never settled until someone forgives. Old wounds never heal. I don't think we're capable of forgiving. But the most we can hope for is that someday we will be lucky enough to forget.

posted by S @ 8:53 PM 0 comments

Ho Ho Ho!

Its Christmas. A time for family and friends and cake and candles. And wishes.

As I lay in my bed on Christmas Eve and prayed for Santa to bring me what I truly want, I prayed for all those less fortunate than me.

On a separate note, I read somewhere today that there are at least two people that you would gladly give your life for an any given point in your life. There are at least fifteen people you truly care about or love at any given point in your life. And there is at least one person who thinks of you before going to bed every night at any given point in your life.

I agree with the first.
My fifteen filled up too quickly for the second.
And I would never know about the third now, would I?

posted by S @ 6:15 PM 0 comments

Some additional thoughts or questions rather, on my previous post.

Can addiction sometimes be confused with passion? Or vice versa?
Can someone get addicted, not to something, but to someone else? And can this addiction be confused with what people call love?
Is love really an addiction?
They say you don't kick the habit till you hit rock bottom. But how do you know you're there?


The thing about addiction, any addiction, is that it never ends well.
Because eventually whatever it was that was giving one that high, stops feeling good.
And starts to hurt.

Then why is it still so hard to let go?
Because no matter how badly an addiction is hurting one, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

On a completely separate note, curiosity, sometimes, can look an awful lot like jealousy.
Beware.

posted by S @ 8:52 PM 0 comments

There are many kinds of addictions. Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, sex. The list goes on.

But what is the addiction really about? What is everyone really chasing?

With every next cup of coffee or every other pack of cigarettes or every new warm body one may touch, it seems just that much closer. Never quite within reach, however. So we go on. And on. And on.

Somehow, when thinking of addictions, a serial killer seems to be at the same level as an alcoholic or a chain smoker or even a compulsive neat freak.

So what is it?
As I sit alone in my favourite little corner of my house, once again, I wonder.

It's the high.





Do you know what gets me high?
Hmmm. Toughie.

posted by S @ 8:03 PM 0 comments

Life's Little Similes

So, in the washroom at work today, I noticed a sign about perfumes and how some people may be allergic to them.

By the way, I love wearing my perfume. I wear it every single day. Be it at work, or going out or at home. I have only one and its my favourite one. And I've been using the same one since I was fourteen. Its like my signature now.

Anyway, I got to thinking.
And then I realized, trusting someone and wearing perfume are very similar.

To prevent heartaches, heartbreaks and allergic reactions, less is great. None is best.

posted by S @ 10:16 PM 0 comments

I spy....

....surrender.

posted by S @ 8:26 PM 0 comments

As I lay in my bed on Friday night, I thought.

About all there is.
And all there isn't.
About all that I want.
And all that will never be.

A familiar little prayer came to mind. Again.
I will be forever thankful.


Yet, as I lay in my bed on Friday night, I cried.

posted by S @ 7:20 PM 0 comments

So this lady I've been dealing with for the past few weeks really reminds me of someone from my past. I've been thinking about it a lot but I can't figure out who it is or was that she reminds me of.

I'm going to be dealing with her a lot over the next few months. I better figure it sooner rather than later. Or I may be the running the risk of driving myself insane.

Oh wait.

posted by S @ 7:15 PM 0 comments

Look behind the smile.

posted by S @ 6:27 PM 0 comments

Too many words

You'll have to forgive me in advance for the length of this post. Its been a few days since my last post and I'm trying to recall my thoughts over the last week.

My exam was on Tuesday night. It sucked. I really don't know if I'll make it this time. All I can do now is wait which is no fun.

I had my Body Jam class on Wednesday night. And despite it not being the release that I had requested, never have I danced with such fervour. It took a whole hour of that to wash the stress of the exam off of me.

So on Thursday night, I had dinner with Mom and Dad. And while I was there, I watched my two year old nephew try to play a tune on his toy piano with his feet. Now, I don't like to watch kids play to begin with because I have the attention span of a two year old myself, plus the noise, yes, noise, not music, noise, was driving me insane. So I left early. On the drive back home, I got to thinking. I realized I love listening to the piano when its played well. And I love guys who can play the piano. And I love guys even more when they're not embarassed to play it for someone.

Friday night was a quiet one.

So on Saturday night, I hung out with my very good friend from work, T. We were watching TV and I don't know how the conversation came to the turn it did. So going along with the conversation, I asked him a question. About perception. He said, without hesitation, " I can't answer that." I looked at him and said, "You don't have to coz I can see the answer in your eyes." He asked me the same question. And before I could say anything, he looked right back at me and said, "I can see the answer in your eyes too." I didn't respond. The subject somehow got changed and we dropped the conversation. But I wonder what he took my non-answer to mean.

posted by S @ 4:57 PM 0 comments

Don't make a promise when you know you can't keep it.

On a separate note, when someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, look into their eyes, smile with your eyes and ask, "Why do you want to know?". It will do the trick.

posted by S @ 6:53 PM 0 comments

I would jeopardize my academic and career path just so I can put off the inevitable in my personal life for a little bit longer, you say.

Its an option, I must say.
A rather tempting one.

But I don't think I have it in me.

posted by S @ 2:03 PM 0 comments

Torn.

posted by S @ 7:41 PM 0 comments